Your Self-help Resources

Let's try a test on yourself. During today, keep a count of how many times you say 'I can't' or 'I don't' or even 'I'm no good at that'. You may be surprised how many times that is. All of those are called 'negative mindsets' or 'limiting beliefs'. Each time you use those words you're reinforcing your own negative attitude. 

And, as we all know, if you hear something often enough, you start to believe it. Think of it like a student whose teacher tells them 'You're no good at maths'. It's probably not true - they've just not been taught well or had a poor result in a test and subsequently lost confidence. But that idea they are 'no good at maths' can stay with them forever. 

How many times have you told yourself you're no good at something? Maybe it's cooking, sport, driving, managing people, giving presentations.  But you can change this. Start by telling yourself you 'can do' it. Think of it as challenge you can win. These changes won't happen overnight if they've been embedded for years, but with persistence you can change your thoughts and behaviour. Try it!

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Everyone is guilty of it- delaying something we don't want to do, from putting the bins out to tedious admin tasks. Those eventually catch up with us, as a sea of rubbish accumulates or we receive reminders to take action on our personal admin.

But if you're procrastinating on a career move, or personal development, or positive changes, it can be harder to take action. So how do you do it? 

First, ask yourself how much it matters. Be honest. You won't be motivated if you're not emotionally invested. if you want to really achieve something, it's got to be above 6 out of 10. If it's not, you don't want it enough, so let it go.

So what about something you really do want? Write down your goal.  That makes it real, rather than simply an idea.  Choose what you can do today. And when. Timetable it. Create a daily or weekly plan.  And when you've achieved it, either daily or weekly, reward yourself. That's your way of acknowledging your fabulous progress. And if you need more help to keep going, that's where I as a coach come in.

Around 60 per cent of my clients have coaching on career change. Most of them have been thinking about it for a long time - months or years. Like anyone lost in a maze, they keep finding cul-de-sacs or go round in circles.  

Clarity comes by analysing what you really want. It's about knowing your values and what drives you. If work isn't 'doing it for you' what needs to change? And are you receptive to change? 

Coaching requires you to be open to change, compromise and even taking a risk. Try writing a list of the three most important values you have. Consider if you're a leader or feel happier in a team. Don't dismiss options that seem challenging at first - like re-training and reducing your income in the short term. Above all, imagine when you are eighty or ninety. You don't want to say, 'I wish I'd tried that.'  If I were to coach you, this is how we'd find your way out of the maze.

 
What does make you happy? It's easy when you're immersed in work, possibly with a growing family, or caring for older family, that you end up with no time for yourself. 

You can end up neglecting your physical and emotional needs.  Carving out some 'me time' will mean you have more to offer everything and everyone. But how?

I'm a great fan of lists because they make your thoughts more 'real'. What would you like more in your life? Add it to your list. Depending on your personality, you might want more social contact with other people or more solitude. You might want to take more exercise, read more books, travel somewhere new for the day. 

I'm a big believer in being slightly (just slightly) selfish as a means of self-preservation. Doing some of the stuff you enjoy means you're likely to be happier, more energised and able to engage positively with your work, friends and family.   What do you need to put in place?